Sometimes we measure time in minutes, hours, and even years. Other times, we find ourselves measuring time in much smaller increments. When this happens, I crochet.
In 2015, I spent 8 days making an afghan while watching my grandfather slowly starve to death (he refused to live on a feeding tube, and I supported his decision). I sat with my grandma, talked with her, played cards, explained that he wasn’t getting better every time she needed to hear it.
I helped her get ready for his funeral. As sad as it was, I really enjoyed spending the time with her.It was just after he passed that I decided I was done being fat and started this journey. Now, a full 2 years later (yep, totally missed my fitiversary), I find myself working on another afghan as I sit with my grandma.
She spent the last week in the hospital, and there were several times when we thought this would be it. She was discharged today, so she’s not dead yet, but I still worry. At almost 90 years old, the end is a bit inevitable. That said, I want her final times to be enjoyable, comfortable, and happy. She’s in rehab now, and I worry about how well they’ll take care of her, and how much improvement she’ll make.
A month ago, she was using a walker and enjoying assisted living. Now, she can’t even stand up on her own, and her mental state has deteriorated enough to end our card games. She no longer remembers that her husband is dead, and often calls me by the wrong name, but we still laugh, stick out our tongues, and remember the summers I spent working in her grocery store while I crochet. Every stitch counts as time spent with her.
Anyway, it’s kept me busy. I’ve been staying overnight at the hospital, since she wakes up confused and upset in the middle of the night sometimes. I’m happy I can be there for her, but it’s been a long and exhausting week. I’m hoping things get better now that she’s in rehab.
In any case, I’m still running, though my mileage is down a bit. I’m mostly making healthy food choices, though I haven’t been on a scale in a long time, now. I should be heading home this weekend, since I have to be back at school at the start of next week. Who knows what that weigh-in will look like, but I’ll be posting it, either way.