Day 355 – Anniversary Overeating

Today’s been jam-packed!

We got up at 5 to leave by 6 for Hubby’s 10K that started at 8 (We had a long drive). I was SO proud! My dearly beloved finished in 1:02:30! There was a fair after the run, so we stuck around to visit booths, ride a couple rides, and enjoy the day. It worked out really well, since today is also our 11th anniversary!

Anniversary

We got new rings at one of the vendors (they’re titanium). Since I’ve lost so much, my rings are too big, so I wear them on my right hand. It’s nice to have a ring back on my left ring finger!

Of course, I ate fair food, too! I had funnel cake and kettle corn. I actually got a really bad belly ache! I’m not used to fried/junk food like that anymore. Unfortunately, I also learned that I REALLY struggle to leave any food on the plate. Normally, this isn’t an issue. I portion my food onto my plate appropriately, and that’s that. It becomes an issue when the food isn’t appropriately portioned, though. For example, as I ate the funnel cake, my belly started to hurt. The logically response would be to STOP EATING! Did I do that? NOPE! I ate faster (no joke). I realized midway through that I was actually eating as fast as I could to try and fit in as much funnel cake as possible before my tummy completely revolted! Clearly, my relationship with food still needs some work. I did recover enough to enjoy crab cakes for our anniversary dinner.

In any case, I’m very excited to get back on track tomorrow. It felt SO good to eat well on Wed and Thurs! I want THAT feeling back (instead of my belly ache), and I intend to make it happen tomorrow!

Day 355

I think this qualifies as disastrous (based on the belly ache and fast eating more than the calorie count).

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Day 354 – Ice cream

Since it’s Friday, I did weigh in this morning:

45 Scale July 8 159.4 lbs

I guess I can say I’m getting some nice practice maintaining my weight.

Today was also my third day that I was determined to stay on-track, and I did great …

…right up until my husband brought home ice cream at 8 pm.

Day 354

Ooops!

It happened, and I’m moving on. Tomorrow I must face fair food – YIKES!

Hubby’s running a 10K that’s the start of a day long fair with rides and whatnot. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll make the best choices I can.

 

 

Day 352 – Ignoring cravings

There is a little voice inside my head that screams at me, “Hungry! Eat! Mmmm, chocolate! Need ice cream! We deserve a treat!” Today, my goal is to ignore that voice.

Throughout this journey, I’ve learned that feeling¬†“in control” vs. not is reflected in the way I feel long before it shows up in my calorie consumption or the number on the scale.

I think the difference, for me (right now, at least), is found in that voice in my head. When I feel like I’m in control of my eating and food choices, I’ve made a habit of ignoring that voice to the point that I can barely hear it. Occasionally, it will whisper to me, but I’m able to consider it and make a fully rational choice. Sometimes, I choose to go ahead and enjoy a treat. I’m okay with that, but I also feel like it gives that voice a tiny bit of power. It got what it wanted once, so the next time, it speaks just a smidgen louder. I’m still able to choose to ignore it without worry, but if I choose to listen and have a treat again, the voice gains even more strength and volume. Eventually, I find myself thinking about eating yummy treats nonstop, and I struggle to fight against the voice yelling in my head.

When we went on vacation, I fed the voice. It was a choice. I was in control, and I was happy with my choices.

Since we’ve gotten back, I’ve been struggling to quiet that voice, because I’ve continued to enjoy treats – not so many that I gain weight, but too many to lose weight, and more importantly, enough to continue feeding those cravings.

June 2016

The first week on the graph is when we were on vacation. You can see how I got things under control when we first got home, and then my calories start slowly and steadily increasing.

Today, I was determined to reign it back in. I know that the voice in my head is full of crap, and I just need to ignore it. I’ve started feeling powerless to the voice, and I know that, for me, is the first MAJOR step back to fat. I know it isn’t showing on the scale, and my calories aren’t off the board, yet. But I also know that I’m heading that way, and the sooner I start taking back the power from the cravings, the easier it will be.

This morning, I planned out my food for the day. I made sure it was well balance, used almost all my calories, and included enough food to ensure I would not feel truly hungry. When that voice starts telling me to stray from the plan, I look at my food log and tell the voice to stuff it. I know once I make it through today, tomorrow will be easier. That will make the next day even easier and so on and so forth.

Day 352

It’s been a good day, and it feels great to feel in control again!

Day 351 – A tough time

The last time I posted, we were just returning from vacation and settling back in. Summer school was starting, and I was getting back on track. Then I woke up with an upset stomach. I figured it was something I ate, until my husband suffered a similar fate 24 hours later. Of course, Little Man got to share the joy (I must confess to laughing when he emerged from the bathroom, teary eyed, and asked why he was “peeing out [his] butt?!”)

I also started having trouble with my right knee. I took four days off from running, before messing up my left ankle while roller-blading (I figured cross-training would be a good idea). The skating actually really helped my knee, so I went ahead and ran my 10K on June 25th with a finish time of 1:09:17!! My ankle recovered quickly (after 2 MORE days off), and I’ve added strength training to help keep both my knee and ankle happy. I’ve also dropped my running from 6 days/wk to 5.

About the same time as all of that, my computer crashed. It was devastating! Thank goodness, my IT-savvy hubby was able to recover most of my documents and what-not, but it was rough. Getting back into accounts has been challenging (really, who DOESN’T have their computer save their passwords?). Hubby reformatted my whole computer, and we’re hoping to keep it going through the end of the year. We have money we’d saved to enjoy this summer, but I really don’t want to have to blow a bunch of it on a new computer! Since this one is just limping along, I’m still having some issues with it, so we’re backing it up regularly.

On a happier note, my parents came out this past weekend. It was nice to visit with them, and we all had fun. We went to see “Finding Dori” and it was AWESOME! I love Hank, the septapuss – especially when he learns to drive a truck!

Eating-wise, I’ve been struggling, but not falling apart. I think I’ve over-eaten every day for the past month, but my weight has stayed ¬†between 157 & 160, so I feel like I’m maintaining my weight right now. This would be all well and good, but it’s starting to feel a bit… lax, loose, blah. Basically, I’m really afraid that “maintaining” is going to quickly slip into “gaining,” and I know I’m not doing my poor joints any favors by continuing to carry these last 25 lbs.

Because of computer issues, I’m seriously lacking pictures. I don’t know when/if that will change, but I’ve decided that I should not postpone writing and posting on here because of that. I’ve been missing posting, and I want to get back to it, so I will – even if I don’t have pictures.