There have been many times in the past 7 months when I have eaten more than I “should” have on any given day. There are times when it has been totally controlled and intentional, and there have been times when I lost control; but I usually make it a point to decline any feelings of regret. I eat what I eat. I cannot un-eat it, so I’m usually quick to move on.
Yesterday was different. We went to my son’s academic competition, and I knew we’d be eating lunch while there. Since they were serving concession stand food (which is both high in calories and gross), I told Little Man that I’d take him out for dinner, so long as we packed lunch. I didn’t mind eating a few more calories, if I was spending them on yummy food, but I refuse to waste my taste buds on gross-ness. It worked great, and I stayed 100% on track. As we finished our delicious dinner, MFP showed that I was just under 1500 calories for the day! My tummy was full, it was 5pm, and I was proud!
Then we walked past the Girl Scouts.
After several weeks of ignoring them, I broke down and bought 1 box of Thin Mints – MMMMmmmm! I ate 8 cookies. I probably should have stopped after 4, but 8 wasn’t terrible and brought my calories for the day to 1750-ish – I could TOTALLY live with that and was proud of myself for walking away while there were still cookies in the sleeve!
The rest of the evening was calm, and I was happy with the way my day had gone. Hubby arrived home after picking up dinner for himself on the way. He offered me some macaroni salad, and I accepted. I didn’t think about; didn’t consult the nutrition facts; didn’t ask myself if I was even hungry (I wasn’t); I just ate some macaroni salad.
It was not good. Even as I ate it, I was thinking to myself, “This is kind of yucky macaroni salad. It doesn’t have much flavor, is a bit soupy, and I’m really not hungry.” With 2 bites left in my bowl, it dawned on me that I should stop eating it. *head thump* I guessed that I’d eaten about a half cup, and figured I hadn’t screwed up too bad. In my head I was expecting 100-150 calories, as I logged back into MFP to add it to my day.
Then I saw the real number – 270 CALORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For the first time, since starting this journey, I sincerely regret eating something. I was SO pissed off at myself. How could I be stupid enough to eat it without checking the label? Why on Earth did I not STOP eating it after that first bite – when I realized I didn’t like it? I know it’s still a stretch for me, but I have been working on only eating when I’m physically hungry – why didn’t I consider that and stop myself?
After a good night’s sleep, I’m still mad that my daily total for yesterday hit 2100 calories over something so gross and after such a hard won day, but I have quit beating myself up about it. I certainly learned something from it!
I am back on track today. I had a great run this morning, and we’re grilling burgers for dinner tonight.